Comments on: Waffling http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/waffling/ A birthmother starting reunion. She hopes. Wed, 31 Dec 2008 23:56:44 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: barelysane http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/waffling/#comment-17 barelysane Sun, 15 Jun 2008 05:01:38 +0000 http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-17 Just found your blog. As an a-mom, I would think that once your son hit 18, all bets are off as far as trying to run this past his A-parents. I agree that contacting him directly gives him the power to make whatever decision he wants, which is nice because so far, it's been everyone else deciding for him. Good luck & I hope you get a positive response back!! PS: also in Canada, but on the west coast. Just found your blog.

As an a-mom, I would think that once your son hit 18, all bets are off as far as trying to run this past his A-parents. I agree that contacting him directly gives him the power to make whatever decision he wants, which is nice because so far, it’s been everyone else deciding for him.

Good luck & I hope you get a positive response back!!

PS: also in Canada, but on the west coast.

]]> By: mybirthnameisallison http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/waffling/#comment-10 mybirthnameisallison Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:53:13 +0000 http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-10 Hi Canuck, My blog address is http://mybirthnameisallison.wordpress.com/ I'm kind of new to the blog thing too... and yes I think I too could sit here 24/7 and read adoption blogs! I also live in Canada too! In my original message to my son when I found him on myspace, I just said, I am your birth mom, and I'd love to get to know you and communicate with you.... He wrote back the same day, and we kind of went from there. It took a year and a bit for us to meet in person. And it was great. But now that it is over, I'm still dealing with a lot of emotions, etc. And I know I will see him again, but well it is very hard. you can email me if you like supermom13@gmail. I am slowly posting bits and pieces of my story up on my blog. Anyhow, take care. Hi Canuck,
My blog address is http://mybirthnameisallison.wordpress.com/
I’m kind of new to the blog thing too… and yes I think I too could sit here 24/7 and read adoption blogs!

I also live in Canada too!

In my original message to my son when I found him on myspace, I just said, I am your birth mom, and I’d love to get to know you and communicate with you….
He wrote back the same day, and we kind of went from there.

It took a year and a bit for us to meet in person. And it was great. But now that it is over, I’m still dealing with a lot of emotions, etc. And I know I will see him again, but well it is very hard.

you can email me if you like supermom13@gmail.
I am slowly posting bits and pieces of my story up on my blog.

Anyhow, take care.

]]> By: canuckfirstmum http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/waffling/#comment-7 canuckfirstmum Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:31:40 +0000 http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-7 Allison -- I'd love to hear your whole story. What did you say in your e-mail to him? What did he say back? How was the meeting? Do you have a blog? Totally addicted to blogs now. Anything you'd be willing to share would be fantastic. Oceans -- thanks for your thoughts on sending the e-mail. I'm procrastinating now 'cuz I'm chicken at heart, but the more I read the more I'm swaying towards sending it. Victoria -- I have been reading your blog and it's great to hear from you. Your perspective is invaluable. Allison — I’d love to hear your whole story. What did you say in your e-mail to him? What did he say back? How was the meeting? Do you have a blog? Totally addicted to blogs now. Anything you’d be willing to share would be fantastic.

Oceans — thanks for your thoughts on sending the e-mail. I’m procrastinating now ‘cuz I’m chicken at heart, but the more I read the more I’m swaying towards sending it.

Victoria — I have been reading your blog and it’s great to hear from you. Your perspective is invaluable.

]]> By: victoria http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/waffling/#comment-6 victoria Sat, 07 Jun 2008 20:40:04 +0000 http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-6 hi! :-) found your site from ocean's blog. i'm adopted. 19 now. but for me, everything was semi open from the beginning. i guess you can venture through my story on my page. (too long to write here lol) good luck with whatever you choose - if your daughter were me, i would be happy to hear from you regardless of how you choose to do it. every adoptee is different about how much interest they have in their adoption and birthfamily. so i can't speak for her. but those are my own thoughts. i'm excited to see how your story unfolds! i've added you to my links. welcome to blogland!!!! hi! :-)
found your site from ocean’s blog.
i’m adopted. 19 now. but for me, everything was semi open from the beginning. i guess you can venture through my story on my page. (too long to write here lol)
good luck with whatever you choose – if your daughter were me, i would be happy to hear from you regardless of how you choose to do it. every adoptee is different about how much interest they have in their adoption and birthfamily. so i can’t speak for her. but those are my own thoughts.
i’m excited to see how your story unfolds! i’ve added you to my links. welcome to blogland!!!!

]]> By: oceans64 http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/waffling/#comment-5 oceans64 Sat, 07 Jun 2008 14:00:54 +0000 http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-5 Hiya C!! Thought I would stop by and see how the blogging is going. I'm going to add you to my blogroll if it's OK with you. Just wanted to say that most adoptee's want to be contacted directly once they are over 18. It's tough on them if thier parents aren't on-board with reunion. By contacting them directly they have control over letting their parents know. One less thing you know? It can also work the other way around. They don't want contact but their parents press the issue. I look forward to reading more!! Hiya C!! Thought I would stop by and see how the blogging is going. I’m going to add you to my blogroll if it’s OK with you.

Just wanted to say that most adoptee’s want to be contacted directly once they are over 18. It’s tough on them if thier parents aren’t on-board with reunion. By contacting them directly they have control over letting their parents know. One less thing you know? It can also work the other way around. They don’t want contact but their parents press the issue.

I look forward to reading more!!

]]> By: mybirthnameisallison http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/waffling/#comment-4 mybirthnameisallison Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:58:52 +0000 http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-4 sure feel free to ask me anything... It was exciting to find somebody else who is in the same boat! :-) Take care. sure feel free to ask me anything…
It was exciting to find somebody else who is in the same boat! :-)

Take care.

]]> By: canuckfirstmum http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/waffling/#comment-3 canuckfirstmum Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:33:38 +0000 http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-3 Wow, that's great to hear. A new day, a new perspective. I think I'll sit on it for a bit. My daughter is 20 -- looks like we were going through the same stuff at the same time! Glad to hear you met your son. Would love to hear more details. Wow, that’s great to hear. A new day, a new perspective. I think I’ll sit on it for a bit. My daughter is 20 — looks like we were going through the same stuff at the same time! Glad to hear you met your son. Would love to hear more details.

]]> By: mybirthnameisallison http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/waffling/#comment-2 mybirthnameisallison Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:50:29 +0000 http://canuckfirstmum.wordpress.com/?p=5#comment-2 Hello, I found your blog surfing around here, and I also found my son via myspace. I'm not sure how old your daughter is, or what the situation is. For me I did find him on myspace, and when I did I sent him a message and he responded right away. I personally thought it was the best way to contact him, he is 20 years old (well 19 at the time I found him on myspace) I felt that was the best way to contact him because that way, it was totally in his control, he was the only one that knew about it, and it was more between he and I. Since he is an adult I didn't feel that I had to involve his adoptive parents. My son and I communicated for a year (Starting on April 2007) and then just this Past May (three weeks ago) I was able to go and meet my son for the first time. That's just my two cents. I hope you can come to a decision that you are ok with. Take care. Hello,
I found your blog surfing around here, and I also found my son via myspace.
I’m not sure how old your daughter is, or what the situation is.
For me I did find him on myspace, and when I did I sent him a message and he responded right away.
I personally thought it was the best way to contact him, he is 20 years old (well 19 at the time I found him on myspace) I felt that was the best way to contact him because that way, it was totally in his control, he was the only one that knew about it, and it was more between he and I. Since he is an adult I didn’t feel that I had to involve his adoptive parents.
My son and I communicated for a year (Starting on April 2007) and then just this Past May (three weeks ago) I was able to go and meet my son for the first time.
That’s just my two cents.
I hope you can come to a decision that you are ok with.

Take care.

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